Good Advice

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs [Stanford commencement speech, June 2005]

I needed to read this today.

Personal Ethics Statement

Have I told you lately that I love my Ethics class? Well, I do.

The classes I have loved most, these last two years, are the classes that make me think. And think. and think. And then make me want to have conversations about what I am thinking about.

I love a good conversation.

In my Ethics class one of our assignments is to write a personal ethics statement. I have been struggling with this assignment. I have googled it, thought about it, asked colleagues about it, and asked a friend who took this class earlier if I could read theirs.

And I am still struggling to write a personal ethics statement. So, I came up with a list of questions and topics to help me know what to include and what issues I want to address.

Family
Friends
All who I come in contact with
Business dealings
Financial responsibilities
Health/Wellness
Is it okay to use the word or feel hate?
What motivates me?
What values do I hold close?
Who do I answer too?
What actions need to be present?
What actions should never be present?
How do I define: Honest, Truth, Just?
How do I speak to others?
Am I kind? Compassionate? Do I act like my Savior in all aspects of my life? Who is my "gauge" in life?
How do handle, think about, fulfill my religious callings and duties?
Where do my priorities lie? With church? God? Work? Family? Friends? Myself?
What do I stand for?
What is my social responsibility? Locally? Globally?
What about my commitment to my country?

These are the questions that I will be answering before I write my personal ethics statement this weekend. Wish me luck!

I Can Hardly Believe It!

I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

AND...I can hardly believe it!

Being 6 credits away from completing my MBA seemed like an impossible dream just a short while ago. I remember during the first semester thinking "this is going to take FOREVER" and it felt like I would never be done.

BUT GUESS WHAT?

I'm almost done!

Here is the real question: What am I going to do when I am done?

SERIOUSLY.

What goals should I set?
What is my next move in my career?
Where should I live?
How should I celebrate?
What is the next big thing to tackle?
Will all of the people I have practically ignored for the last two years ever talk to me again?
Is it time to get rid of the corrolla? (Okay, this has nothing to do with graduation...but is a real question.)
What trips should I go on?
What habits do I need to break?
What habits do I need to start?
And this list goes on and on and on...

But let's not lose focus here...

I AM ALMOST DONE!

Amen

This quote was on my daily calendar today:

I like living. I have somtimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. - Agatha Christie

After reading this, I thought to myself "AMEN!".

Heart Full Of Thanks

Today I have a heart full of THANKS.

I am thankful for being a part of the Ardell & Dean family. I truly couldn't imagine better parents, or better brothers and sisters. For me, this was the perfect family, including all the ups and downs.

I am thankful for just best nieces and nephews. I went to see New Moon with two of my nieces last night, truly my nieces and nephews are some of my best friends (even the in-laws). It helps that they are about my same age.

I am thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ, which has taught me about eternal families. This gospel helps me to have peace each day, not only peace, but HOPE.

I am thankful to have a job. A job which I love...even if I sometimes complain...I still love it.

Today, I have a very thankful heart.

This I Believe: Stand Up and Be Counted

I believe I am surrounded by exceptional people.
I believe that they aren't in my life by chance.
I believe I have much to learn.
I believe that I am strengthened by how often those people I hold dear stand strong and are vocal about what they hold true.
I believe that the above mentioned people will be great leaders.
I believe that there can no longer be any "gray" areas. That the time is gone for "fence sitters".
I believe that one of the hardest trials we face will come from learning how to have "charity" while still standing up for what we believe.
I believe in the Atonement of Jesus Christ and it's POWER to help me overcome all doubts, sins, fears, and trials.
I believe that I am afraid of offending when I don't mean too and it curbs my true thoughts too often.
I believe that you should act, live, and speak what you believe all the time.
I believe I am surrounded by extraordinary people.

*I have been so impressed with one person in particular who writes on her blog exactly what she believes. She stands up and is counted. Her passion is inspiring. We need more passion like hers and less fence sitting. Although, I don't always agree with her points I like to read and bounce her opinions off mine (all in my head of course). Here is to more ffff (fight for freedom fridays) and other posts she writes with such passion.

Thoughts of School

School, school, schmool.

I started my MBA program and already have one class done. YAY! Okay, so it's not really done, we will have several more assignments due throughout the semester. But still...I don't have to go to that class anymore.

Here are some things I have realized since I started my program.
1. I need to exercise a lot more if I am going to have enough energy to do school and work fulltime.
2. I love being back in school. LOVE IT.
3. I may not be as smart as I think I am.
4. I can study AND I can don't really mind reading textbooks. (This is HUGE because for my bachelors I didn't really study a lot and I think I only read 1 text book completely...the rest I may have read a chapter or so.)
5. Graduate level classes are completely different than my undergraduate classes...they are more about applying the concepts to work we actually do right now. I LOVE IT.
6. I may have forgotten how to juggle all the things I have to do each day...this could get really bad.
7. I am, surprisingly, okay with with the sacrifices I have to make right now to get through school.
8. I don't know if everyone affected by my sacrifices is okay with them.
9. I hate campus parking. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
10. I am one of those people who wants to share what they learned in class with other people. Which kind of makes me a little boring...I will try harder to only share interesting stuff.
11. I need to remember to not neglect my blog...I have millions of things stuffed in my head that I want to share.

All in all, even though school is kind of kicking my trash right now...I love it.

Inspiration

April is great (see her at the top of the blog list). Her blog is about real life, her real life. I like it. Last week she posted a quote that I quickly fell in love with:

"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to still be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. " - Alfred D. Souza

Don't you just love it? Doesn't it resonate with you?

Reflections and Looking Forward

At dinner last night a friend asked me what was the best thing that happened in 2008. I couldn't think of one thing. This question has been on my mind since then and I have an answer. The best thing that happened to me in 2008 was my testimony of Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ getting firmer.

2008 a year of trials and blessings:

*My mom has recovered amazingly well from her hip surgeries. She is more like a 60 year old than a 76 year old - Blessing
*My brother getting so sick he was in ICU for 3 weeks and almost passed away - Trial
*My faith in the power of the priesthood and of fasting and prayer grew when Joe was in the hospital - Blessing
*Feeling inadequate is so many areas of my life - Trial
*Finding out something that broke my heart - Trial
*Blogging - Blessing
*Father passing away - Trial
*Father passing away - Blessing
*The love I have felt from so many people after my dad died, I haven't felt that kind of love for a long time - Blessing
*Knowing that Heavenly Father loves me and having this reinforced over and over and over this year - Blessing
*Traveling - Trial and Blessing
*Kung Fu Joe, and the rest of my family - Blessing
*Turning 30 - TRIAL
*Having some pretty amazing friends that just love me for me - Blessing
*Sewing lessons, and then sewing an apron - Blessing
*Great Hair - Blessing
*My calling in the Relief Society Presidency, where I have been able to see and hear others bear their testimonies, I am able to share my testimony, and seeing the power of the Gospel change people - Blessing.

All in all, 2008 has been a hard, but good year. I have learned a lot and wouldn't trade that for anything.

So, what I am I planning for 2009?

1. No one dies. Sorry friends, I am done with that for a long time.
2. Getting my finances in order.
3. Finishing my landscape painting and then painting a "delia" original.
4. Clearing all sorts of clutter out of my life.
5. Temples, scriptures, prayer, and the like.
6. Starting my MBA.
7. Getting together with friends...a lot.
8. And maybe, just maybe a few trips (California, Arizona, New York, Connecticut, and maybe Oregan...)
9. and...well maybe a surprise or two a long the way...

11.18.08

Hi Dad,

It's me, D'Nell. I just wanted to say hello. I didn't realize I would miss you as much as I do. People ask how I am doing and I tell them I an doing great...which is the truth, but then 5 minutes later I am a little sad.

You know how I call mom everyday? Usually in the morning, afternoon, and evening to check on her? Well, that kind of makes me a little sad because I know I can't ask how you are doing, or see if you are behaving. I won't hear mom tell me she has to change your TV program or feed you lunch. But I still have to call her, I know she is a little lonely.

Mom told me today she purchased pomegranates before you passed away to make you fruit salad. You always loved mom's cooking. She didn't get it made for you before you died. Now I will have to eat your fruit salad...don't be mad or jealous...that's just the way it is.

Be well Dad,

Lot's of Love,

D'Nell

(p.s. Isn't your granddaughter Megan an amazing photographer? I think so...)

Good Job Sally, Pass It Along

Today I made a resolution: I will increase the number of times I leave good feedback for someone. Three instances have prompted this resolution:

1. Each staff meeting with our department we end the meeting with positive feedback employees in our department have received from other departments/individuals. The reading of compliments and recognition adds a positive feeling to our floor and makes me more engaged as an employee.

2. I met with the Enrichment Leader of our ward on Monday. I thanked her for the great job she did on a huge preparedness activity recently. This was her response "I am a person who needs reassuring words. A simple "thank you" for my actions makes my effort worth it and I am more willing to do it all again."

3. I taught Relief Society a couple of months ago, my bishop happened to sit in that Sunday. Later that week I received a note from him. It was really nice.

I think we have enough negative feedback in the world. I am going to start leaving some positive feedback and I even started today. I had a problem with one of my accounts. I called and talked to a helpful customer service representative. She quickly and efficiently solved my problem. She did not do anything spectacular but she was kind, courteous, and professional and I appreciated it. After I hung up I called right back and asked to speak with a supervisor. I then let the supervisor know that she made me feel valued as a customer and my experience was great.

Want to know the best part? After I left the feedback I felt amazing. Like the sun was shining all around.

Heard On The Radio

I heard this on NPR this evening and I want to ponder it further. I thought I would share in case it made anyone else think.

"If you don't know where you are going then any road will take you there."

Who Am I Really?

When I strip away all the pomp and circumstance, who am I? When I take of my mask what is left? Who is the real me?

I have been thinking about this a lot over the last couple of weeks (thanks rendezvous) and asking some people to describe me in 3 words...no holds bar.

consistent, forgiving
bitter, happy
alive, negative
anxious, idealistic
adventurous, consumed
caring, stubborn, intelligent

These are some of the words that have been used to describe me. I would agree that some could describe me all the time and some would only describe me at certain points in my life. There are some I don't ever want to be remembered about me and some I hope describe my whole life.

Hearing some of the responses made me shudder and want to cry, while others made me laugh and smile, and still others made me ponder. The words reminded me of times I treasure and times I regret.

But what words describe the real me? Do any of the above words do this? The people who offered these words, I wonder if they have seen the real me or just the me who I want them to see...or the me they want me to be?

I used to hate mixing people from different areas of my life. It made me completely uncomfortable. I did not want my family and friends mixing, my work friends or school friends definitely mixing was a no no. But now I am do not care as much. My family has met more of my friends, I am okay with mixing friends from church and friends that I met through "FRED". I think this is because I am more and more comfortable being me and being on the journey to becoming the best me.

So, what words do I pick to describe my life? You will just have to wait and see...or maybe ask me another time. But I will be sure to keep these words close to remind me of the me I am striving to be.

Dreams

(I stole this picture from Jill's Blog...Jill...don't be mad! Love you!)

This last weekend I went on to a "Rendezvous" with my ward. The theme was "The Power of Balance". I must have gone with an open heart and mind...or just been deprived lately, because I came away with some amazing ideas to mull around. I will explore more of these ideas here publicly and also privately...but the one I want to start with is this...

We had a concert Thursday night with Sam Payne (AMAZING, I love scatting), Ryan Shupe, and Ryan Tilby. One of the songs they sang had this line:

"When you dream, dream big. Because sometimes dreams come true."

I have been thinking of my dreams lately so this line struck my particularly hard. It is making my think about my dreams and are they big or small? Are they want I REALLY want or just what I think I can achieve or what will be easy to achieve? Who doesn't deserve to have their biggest dreams come true?

One of my dreams, aspirations, or whatever you want to call it: When I have children of my own I would like to be financially situated so that we can spend some or all of the summers doing humanitarian service along with vacationing in other states and countries. I would love my life long job to be a volunteer, and I would love to do it with my future husband and children. I can almost see summers spent working in an orphanage in South America, or teaching English in China, building a school in Africa, or even working to build/repair homes in the United States. I love the world and have a strong desire to learn more about the people that live here and would like to have the opportunity to do this with my future family. What a better way to learn about a culture than by serving the people? The key is me starting to work on this now...so that I have a good chance of achieving this dream, and the many other dreams I have.

So, what are your biggest dreams?

Did You Notice The Eyes?

I was looking at some pictures the other day and I came across this one. I may have lingered a bit...but I am seriously, super HOT in this picture. Then I noticed my eyes.

RANDOM FACT: Up until a week ago, I didn't really know what color my eyes were. Are they HAZEL, Blue, Green, the color of POO? I didn't really know. I always said Hazel...I don't really know why. Lots of people have given different answers when they tell me what color eyes I have.
I now declare to the whole world. I have GREEN eyes, with a streak or two of BROWN.

Another RANDOM FACT: Today, is the first day I could tell you the color of my parents EYES.

Ardells are blue.
Dean's are green/brown.

This got me thinking about what other color of eyes there are in my family. Today, we had our monthly family dinner, what a perfect opportunity to get pictures of their EYES! (Some who were not in attendance had their eyes stolen from other pictures.)
My big Brother Joe. I would say green with some brown.
Liberty, dark blue.
Big Dave the KoREAN, brown.
Hunter Grunter, dark blue.
Fuzzy, dark blue.
Suzan, brown with black pupils.
Elizabeth, blue. In fact the same color as our mom's.
Shannon, blue.
Inez, green.
Andrew, blue.
Megs, blue, green, and brown.
Brayden, brown. Although today he got a black eye...so now there will be a nice black, blue, purple, and yellow bruise around his eye.
Jules, light blue with a dark blue ring.

It is amazing that my family just let's me take random pictures of them. When I asked my mom she just took of her glasses and sat there. I think she has learned it is easier not to argue. Dean was confused and told me "he didn't know what I was up too."

There are lots of sayings about eyes. That someone's eyes are the gateway to their soul, that you can tell if someone is lying by their eyes, or that our emotions are displayed in our eyes. I am undecided if I believe any or all of the above statements. Although, I think it is interesting that when I look at the top picture of whole face I would describe my attitude and feelings completely different then I would of the cropped picture of just my eyes. Just something for me to think about.

Handwriting Follow-Up

The only handwriting I have are in my journals. I read and read, and there isn't a big enough sample that I am willing to share on the blog. Sorry friends.

However, this is my opinion about "Utah Handwriting". Whether it exists or not, I think, in general people don't like to be classified, even in something as insignificant as their handwriting. I want to be an individual and I want to be original. Everyone likes to choose who they are associated with, so if other classify you...it can feel like clothing that is too tight and binding. It feels restrictive.

It seems that if you are a part of our religion you hear of 2 categories: "Utah-something" and then everyone else. So adding handwriting to that list seems like a broken record.

I don't agree or disagree with the Utah handwriting. I haven't ever paid attention.

Things That Must Go - Annoying Cell Phone Habits

My official list of annoying cell phone habits.

1. Your cell phone ringing in church. Oh my heck! Are you a doctor who is "on-call"? Or some other high priority job that requires you to be seconds away from your phone? If not, leave it at home. 3 HOURS be disconnected from it...I promise you won't die. **If you still can't live without taking it to church. Put it on SILENT and for heaven sake, not many things require you to text during church. I am sure you waiting until church is over won't cause World War III.

2. Scenario: You are out with friends and you answer every call and/or are having a text conversation. Ummm...are we hanging out or do you need to leave? Pick up a call...maybe once...if it is your spouse/mom/911. Reply to a text when everyone goes to the bathroom or maybe twice...other than that and you are bordering on being rude.

3. When we are in Oil Painting class and your phone is ringing (and your ring is a really lame RAP song) and you just sit there and let it go off for 2 minutes and then decide to interrupt everyone else and answer it and talk really loud...other people might be flipping you off. Just so you know. And by the way, we couldn't hear Toni talking because you were practically screaming.

4. Work: Have your cell phone. Answer as many calls as you would like when you are working at your desk. Text. I do it. However, if you ring is so loud and you are 4 desks away and I can't hear the person on the phone then maybe you should keep it on VIBRATE. The rest of us do. Also, it is kind of annoying when you are in a meeting and you leave your phone at your desk and it keeps ringing and ringing and ringing. STOP IT. Oh, one other thing. Don't get annoyed when we tease you...it could be worse, we could hide your phone.

I am sure there are more, but those are the ones that drive me nuts lately!

**umm...I know I have been guilty of one or more of these. I hereby will amend my ways. B. I leave my cell phone at home a lot...because of the above behaviors. ***

Memorial Day

"Freedom is a light for which many men have died in darkness." (from the tomb of the Unknown Revolutionary War Soldier in Philadelphia PA).

My thoughts have been focused for the last two weeks on FREEDOM, and my gratitude for everyone who has made sacrifices for the freedom I enjoy.

Sitting on Ellis Island and looking at the Statue of Liberty made me contemplate what they have meant to many immigrants coming to America for hundreds of years. But mostly what they mean to me. Love, pain, happiness, not waking up scared everyday, stability, the opportunity to grow and progress with out restraint. Freedom to have an opinion. Loss, sacrifice, understanding. Compassion.

My thoughts again were turned to the blessing of living in the United States of America when we were at Independence Hall and subsequently reading the inscription at the tomb of the Unknown Revolutionary War Soldier in Philedelphia.

Along with all the men and women who have died in darkness for the freedom I enjoy, I thought of all the Mothers, Fathers, Children Husbands, Wives, Sisters, Brothers, Grandparents and countless others who have lost someone while they were defending our county. Those who have given and currently give up having their spouse, son, daughter, father, or mother at home with them everyday. For those go and come back, either whole or injured. Everyone who has served, whether they see any action or not, just the fact that they chose to face the possibility. Thank you for your sacrifice.

Work In Progress

Above is my painting in progress. No worries, I don't plan on painting a landscape in all blue hues. Prof Saiki assures us this is the base coat. By they way, I love my professor. He is awesome and funny!

Since I started painting the mountains blue last week, I started looking at the world around me a little differently. I caught myself staring at the mountain trying to figure out the different colors we would be using to paint them. And then I realized...

You can look at a person and see the surface or you can look deeper and see that there are many layers of "color" that make up an individual. Isn't it great that we as humans have many different aspects and characteristics? I love it. This is something I find myself continually working on, seeing all the layers, sorting out the nice and not so nice, looking to see the good over the frustrating. Trying to like/love/accept individuals as a wonderful, messy, complete packages. Most importantly, learning about my many colors, to brighten the good aspects and blur the bad ones and to be okay with both.

Below, is my painting palette from my last class AND my attempt at an artistic photo.

I enhanced some of the colors using Photoshop Elements. I will learn how to use the program, I will, I will, I will. I think I like the opportunity to take great photos as much as I like learning to paint!

Sometimes...

Sometimes I feel like I am stuck in a rut.

This happened several years ago as well...and I don't remember how I overcame the seemingly endless rut into which my life is stuck.

Does this ever happen to you? Does anyone know how this feels?

I think I am moving ahead with adventurous plans, forging new trails in the life of Delia. Lately, I find that I am in the same place I was several months ago, a big muddy RUT of my life. I am not progressing. Life is boring. Honestly, I want to cry a little from feeling this way.

So, I do what I think will help.
Take some community classes...still in the rut.
Plan adventurous trips. Rut, Rut, Rut.
Cry in frustration.

I think the answer maybe to backup to where I felt I was on level dry ground and take a different approach. Now, if I can only remember where that was...