I Covet

I want this car, Audi Q5 2009 (or 2010). I want this car in gray, black, or red. I want it fully loaded. A woman I work with just got this car and I had the privilege of riding from Burley to Salt Lake with her. I WANT THIS CAR.

(hint hint: if you have lots of spare money laying around and don't know what to do with it...this would make a FABULOUS Christmas gift for me!)

For Tracie

Today after I left your mom's viewing I thought about something you said and how I responded. When you said "you know how I am feeling you have been through this" and then I said "yes". That was the wrong response.

On my way back to work I thought about my response and this is what I should have said:

"Losing my dad when I am relatively young was ALWAYS a part of my story. I always knew it and had already come to terms with it long before it actually happened. Because I knew this, I planned accordingly. While losing him was still really hard and I miss him everyday, and will not have him for yet to come important parts in my life, this was still ALWAYS a part of my story.
However, you losing your mom was NOT a part of your story. You still had many years and many memories that needed to be made. Conversations, arguments, hugs, and learning moments that needed to be shared. Laughter and crying. You losing your mom was NOT a part of your story. I have know idea how you feel."

I can't imagine how hard the next little while...or long while will be for you. I can tell you that nothing helps more than the Gospel. Finding strength through prayer and scripture study. Turn to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and feel their love. Talk about it as much as you need. Make sure you have fun and remember the good parts. Also, don't forget to laugh. I love you.

One Year Ago

One year ago today I saw my dad for the last time.
One year ago today I told him I loved him.
One year ago today I knew, I knew that this may be the last time I would see him in this life.
One year ago today my heart started aching.

As the one year anniversary of my dad death has gotten closer I find that I often have to hold back tears. His death seems like it happened so long ago, but yet I can remember the moment I heard he was gone as if it were 2 minutes ago. I have learned over the years that there are some moments that always stay crystal clear in my memory.

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary, 11/7/2008.

One year later I know, even more, that my Father in Heaven loves me.
One year later I have more compassion for those who have lost a parent, no matter their age.
One year later I still miss him and long for the day when I get to see him again.
One year later I know that he is my Guardian Angel. That he watches over me, that he also can't wait for the day when he gets to wrap his arms around me.

This I Believe: Stand Up and Be Counted

I believe I am surrounded by exceptional people.
I believe that they aren't in my life by chance.
I believe I have much to learn.
I believe that I am strengthened by how often those people I hold dear stand strong and are vocal about what they hold true.
I believe that the above mentioned people will be great leaders.
I believe that there can no longer be any "gray" areas. That the time is gone for "fence sitters".
I believe that one of the hardest trials we face will come from learning how to have "charity" while still standing up for what we believe.
I believe in the Atonement of Jesus Christ and it's POWER to help me overcome all doubts, sins, fears, and trials.
I believe that I am afraid of offending when I don't mean too and it curbs my true thoughts too often.
I believe that you should act, live, and speak what you believe all the time.
I believe I am surrounded by extraordinary people.

*I have been so impressed with one person in particular who writes on her blog exactly what she believes. She stands up and is counted. Her passion is inspiring. We need more passion like hers and less fence sitting. Although, I don't always agree with her points I like to read and bounce her opinions off mine (all in my head of course). Here is to more ffff (fight for freedom fridays) and other posts she writes with such passion.

All In Perspective

On occasions, like most people I am sure, I think that I have a really hard life. As soon as I get sad or frustrated I am quickly reminded that I have it pretty good.

I have had one of those weeks. A week where I realize that I am not where I wanted to be in life. A week where I realize that I may have to wait longer than I wanted for things to happen. A week where I feel more alone.

Today, however, I saw some amazing friends who love me for me.
I laughed, and then laughed more.
When I got home I did some chores while Ardell bossed me.
Then we just sat outside and chatted.

It was a great day. Simple pleasures that remind me that Heavenly Father loves me. That I have value, and that I need to keep things in perspective.

Pepper Perch on Etsy

My cute friend Ashley started an Etsy shop and I LOVE it. Check these adorable earrings and bobby pin. Best part...the price.

If you want to check this and the other things at her shop go to www.pepperperch.etsy.com.



One last thing, need a cute quilt for you or your children? She will have them on her site soon. She will also do custom orders.

Seriously, go check out her shop!

Things That Must Go: Sleeping In

Okay friends, it's time to make a confession: I have a problem. I have gotten back in the habit of sleeping in.

I know, I know...shameful. I am working on it. Two days last week, I was actually EARLY to work! WAHOOO! Let's not talk about the rest of the days.

I know where the problem is: SNOOZING. Seriously, I get the best sleep after my alarm goes off. It's like the alarm triggers my body to instantly fall asleep. Weirdest darn thing ever.

Here's the biggest problem with sleeping in: my reputation. I am not a late person...but this sleeping in is starting to make me look like one! Also, lots of great things happen when you get up early (Being at the Farmer's Market early, working out and then having the rest of the Saturday to do what you want, and the peacefulness of the morning.)

So, now that I have confessed, I am committing to only 3 snoozes (instead of my average of 10-20), I am committing to wake up early on Saturdays (and Sundays), and I will be to work on time everyday next week (and hopefully subsequent weeks as well).

Go ahead and ask me about it. The answer will be "YES, I did it!"

(((Opinion Poll))) - New Bedroom Colors

So, I am thinking of changing the colors of my room. I love the colors in the above pille (and I love style of the pillow.) Anyway, I am thinking fall-ish colors. Also, add in a gold-ish brown-ish yellow. I need opinions!

*if you want to get this pillow yourself, check out Pottery Barn. It's the "anne marie" bedding collection.

Kids Say The Dardest Things

I substituted Primary today, the 4 & 5 year old class. Oh, how adorable. Seriously, the cutest 3 girls. I love being in Primary, it feel so natural and lovely.

So, in class "M" volunteered to say the opening prayer, see if you can pick out my favorite parts:

Dear Heavenly Father
Thank we can be here today
Thank that my Aunt & Uncle live together
although sometimes my Aunt lives with her boyfriend
Thank that my Grandpa feels better
Thank that mine and my sister's livers are okay
(this is where I then whispered "thank you for letting us come to primary")
Thank you for letting us come to primary
(again I whispered "thank you for the prophet")
("M" whispers "I know how to say prayers by myself")
Thank for Jesus
In the name of Jesus Christ
Amen

I was laughing so hard...but only on the inside.

The rest of class made me want to record our conversations...
Seriously, so funny.

Oh, and I have been called as a PERMANENT substitute teacher in the Primary. Yay!

Thoughts of School

School, school, schmool.

I started my MBA program and already have one class done. YAY! Okay, so it's not really done, we will have several more assignments due throughout the semester. But still...I don't have to go to that class anymore.

Here are some things I have realized since I started my program.
1. I need to exercise a lot more if I am going to have enough energy to do school and work fulltime.
2. I love being back in school. LOVE IT.
3. I may not be as smart as I think I am.
4. I can study AND I can don't really mind reading textbooks. (This is HUGE because for my bachelors I didn't really study a lot and I think I only read 1 text book completely...the rest I may have read a chapter or so.)
5. Graduate level classes are completely different than my undergraduate classes...they are more about applying the concepts to work we actually do right now. I LOVE IT.
6. I may have forgotten how to juggle all the things I have to do each day...this could get really bad.
7. I am, surprisingly, okay with with the sacrifices I have to make right now to get through school.
8. I don't know if everyone affected by my sacrifices is okay with them.
9. I hate campus parking. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
10. I am one of those people who wants to share what they learned in class with other people. Which kind of makes me a little boring...I will try harder to only share interesting stuff.
11. I need to remember to not neglect my blog...I have millions of things stuffed in my head that I want to share.

All in all, even though school is kind of kicking my trash right now...I love it.