Crazy Emotions, But All Is Well

I haven't blogged for awhile...2 weeks is a long time. I will start paying attention to my blog more in a couple of days.

A lot has happened in the last 2 weeks. I don't know if you have noticed, but I use my blog to get a lot of emotions and feelings out...well the last two weeks they came out in other ways...which I will not go into at this point...or maybe ever. With all that being said, I feel like I have grown so much over the last year and a half and especially these last two weeks. I foresee a lot more growing and hard times ahead, but I am not afraid. I have learned that I have AMAZING people in my life that are willing to share these burdens with me. Some are friends and some are family, and I love them all very much. So, if you are one of those people, who have picked me up this last little while and made me laugh, or just listened...a huge THANK YOU. I don't think I would have survived...I would have been a lot more worse for the wear. As always, there is also 3 important figures that were crucial also, to them I owe my life. I am ETERNALLY grateful I have FAITH.

Just For Jill...

Meet Grandma & Grandpa Swasey. (R & Inez to be exact). They're adorable...don't you think? This picture was taken just before Grandpa Swasey passed away from cancer.

Any who, my AWESOME DG (domestic goddess) friend JILL, is an apronista...meaning she loves aprons and if I am not mistaken has made 3. All the aprons are adorable. She has visions of being a grandma with an apron with fun pockets with treats...it reminded me of my Grandma.

Grandma Swasey wore an apron every day. She only took it off to go to church or to town. She would wear it as she worked in the garden, when she would sit in her chair and crochet, as she was sewing or quilting, as she would prepare meals, and as she played checkers or chinese checkers with her grandkids (I think this was her favorite past time). Grandma Swasey's aprons always had pockets that she would use to carry various things. As she got older and her mind was going...she would "SNEAK" raisin's or chocolate chips in her apron pocket and eat them when she thought you weren't looking. She was an AMAZING woman, a TRUE lady, and a wonderful caring Grandma. All of my memories of her include an apron, it isn't the first thing that comes to mind, but it is always there. I can't picture her without one.

Jill, two thumbs up for your apron obsession, you are a DG!! I have chatted with Ardell about making an apron using the same pattern as my Grandma...now I just need to find some cute fabric!

Searching For A Deeper Meaning...

It Feels Good To Be Done!

Yay! My table is finally done. I learned a lot while refinishing the table, the most important thing I learned is to do a project like this at your own house. My mom's house hosted this project and it took forever for me to complete. The table has some imperfections, it is my first job of this kind, but I love it!

Too Much Spare Time

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Okay, okay, so we have some spare time on our hands at work occasionally AND I just purchased a new camera (love CANNON!). Combine those two and we have the above videos. Disclaimer...I have a slight lisp...I didn't think it was so bad. Yes, I STILL have my invisalign in...and I am slightly annoyed. The price I pay for being VAIN.

The top video is of CHAY.

*** Happy Fireworks Day ***

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Delia HEARTS fireworks.
If you didn't get the chance to see any fireworks this 4th of July, just watch this video. By the way...you hear a great truth at the end of the video! Enjoy!

Can You Believe It?

Dean gets a little CrAzEY after only 1 (one) Papst BLUE Ribbon. Let the good times roll.

(no animals were hurt in the making of this blog, and no actual alcohol was consumed.)

A Favorite...

This was the first musical I fell in love with. (Dean likes Gilbert & Sullivan musicals...it is really difficult to love HMS Pinafore or Pirates of Penzance played at full volume all night while you are trying to sleep). I heard it for the first time in Mrs. Vonk's choir class...I think in 9th grade. It was so beautiful and the music moved me.

Tonight was the 2nd time I saw it in 2 weeks. It was fantastic! My favorite character is and always will be Jean Val Jean...and tonight was no exception.

I laughed, I cried (well not really...as my roommate NICOLE tells me, I apparently have no emotions), but as always I was moved by the story and music.

Thanks Mrs. Mister for the birthday present...it was the best ever!

Does This Scare You?

Tonight for FHE we went shooting. I have been shooting several times before with my brother JOE. I like to shoot. I don't know that I am very good at aiming...but I have fun.

Through The LOOKING GLASS

Several days ago some high school friends and I got together. A comment was made that went something like this "I still think of you as the same D'Nellie that I knew growing up and in high school." It got me thinking. How do I view myself? How do others view me? Do the two ever meet? And if someone has known you almost your whole life...does their image of you grow and change...and if it does how much and when?

How I view myself: I find that sometimes I feel like the picture above. Some child going through life without a care...and not really paying attention to the world around me or really knowing what is going on.

And sometimes I view myself as I was in the above picture. I distinctly remember getting this photograph taken...well one part. I remember the photographer saying "all the tall people in back"...so where did I go...to the back. I was tall. My view of myself was skewed to what others had told me about myself, or I believed what people said about me. Back to the story: Everyone laughed and I ended up where I did in most of the photographs when I was younger...on my mom's lap. Which is another way I view myself...still a child needing protection from my mom. Still needing her approval and reassurance...still needing her to take care of me...like sewing buttons on my pants. (I can sew a button...thank you very much...I did it on Saturday...much to the surprise of my mom.)

Yet at other times I view myself as I felt I was in high school...trying to appear confident and like I had the world in the palm of my hand. Always looking for an adventure. But inside a little unsure of myself and my abilities and hoping that known one would notice. Yet always laughing.

How do I see myself most of the time? I see myself as all of these people. I am Nellie from my childhood, D'Nellie from Jr. High and High School, D'Nell from my adult life...sprinkled with some Delia and of course from my Dad...a little smidgen of Princess. All of the people I once was...make up the person I am today.

As for the question of how others view me...I honestly don't know. I could guess...but I think I wouldn't quite hit the mark. Does their view ever change? I would hope so...but again it is a mystery. (I could give you several people that I would say know me quite well...you could ask them...but if you do...let's chat afterwards...I want to know what they say!)

(sidebar: uummm...I don't know about you two...but I am ready for a rematch...or maybe instead we should just go shopping! But of course we need those who were missing to come as well!)