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You're not even gone, but I still miss you. Honestly, I have missed you for awhile. I wish I could have prevented it all, but in the moment, and moments I couldn't see clearly to stop it. I don't know how to move forward to make the best of the situation. I have a few ideas...but I am afraid sharing them will make the situation worse. I really just want a hug... from no one but you.

Random, But it Still Makes Me GIGGLE...

Remember about a month or so ago I went shooting? Well when I was get ready for bed that night...guess what I found? Yep, a bullet casing in my bra. How the heck did it get in there? It wasn't right in front either...it was on the bottom, off to the side! When I found it, I started to laugh. I put the casing (or is it called a shell? whatever...) on my desk and I see it everyday...and it still makes me giggle. I tell ya..."the girls" they attract the craziest things...it is like they have a mind of their own.

p.s. Shaniqua is the big plant and Teo is the smaller plant...Shaniqua is being moody, one day she likes living here and is thriving...the next day it is a whole different story.

Things To LOVE and HATE - Bear Lake

I went to Bear Lake over the 24th of July with my sister Inez's family. Good times...good times. While there I thought about things I LOVE and HATE...so with out further ado...

1. LOVE: Nieces and Nephews...No matter the age. Below are Lacey and Hunter. We had a mini photo shoot...they are both so adorable!

2. HATE: Sunburned Legs. Seriously, sunscreen is my best friend...but I am so smart and thought...face...arms...neck...DONE! Then I went on the boat...and WAH LAH! Sunburned legs. Ouch. They just started peeling...yuck.

3. LOVE: Little kids singing. This is Hunter singing (click on the link below)"Scooby Doo" This song is still in my head!

Click Here to see Hunter

4. HATE: Single beds.

5. LOVE: Any Adventure with Jody, Julia, and Mari. Jody really wanted to go horseback riding. I was a bit nervous. While my dad has owned horses my whole life, I am (or was) a titch scared of riding them. I have a lot of fears...but I am trying to overcome them. The ride was beautiful...Danny was a good horse. Then it started raining, thundering, and lightning...whoa...let the adventure begin. There were some tears (Mari and Trinity)...but also some laughter. All in all it was a great memory...and I am no longer afraid of horseback riding.

6. HATE: Driving in the stormy rain from Brigham City to Layton...the roads are HORRIBLE in any wet weather.

7. LOVE: Nature. I loved being right by the lake...so beautiful and peaceful. I also forgot how much I loved being so close to the canyon when I lived in Logan. It is amazing. Seeing the beauty that God created fills me with peace and strength. There is something restful and restorative about nature. I love it.

8. LOVE/HATE: GUITAR HERO. It is a fun game to play...just not all the time at Bear Lake.


9. LOVE/HATE: My cell phone in the past did not work at Bear Lake. Now it does. I hate that it worked, but I loved that I kept it turned off. I would check it once each day to see if my mom called and also to call my mom on her birthday...but that was all. I think I might try the cell phone off more often.

Crazy Emotions, But All Is Well

I haven't blogged for awhile...2 weeks is a long time. I will start paying attention to my blog more in a couple of days.

A lot has happened in the last 2 weeks. I don't know if you have noticed, but I use my blog to get a lot of emotions and feelings out...well the last two weeks they came out in other ways...which I will not go into at this point...or maybe ever. With all that being said, I feel like I have grown so much over the last year and a half and especially these last two weeks. I foresee a lot more growing and hard times ahead, but I am not afraid. I have learned that I have AMAZING people in my life that are willing to share these burdens with me. Some are friends and some are family, and I love them all very much. So, if you are one of those people, who have picked me up this last little while and made me laugh, or just listened...a huge THANK YOU. I don't think I would have survived...I would have been a lot more worse for the wear. As always, there is also 3 important figures that were crucial also, to them I owe my life. I am ETERNALLY grateful I have FAITH.

Just For Jill...

Meet Grandma & Grandpa Swasey. (R & Inez to be exact). They're adorable...don't you think? This picture was taken just before Grandpa Swasey passed away from cancer.

Any who, my AWESOME DG (domestic goddess) friend JILL, is an apronista...meaning she loves aprons and if I am not mistaken has made 3. All the aprons are adorable. She has visions of being a grandma with an apron with fun pockets with treats...it reminded me of my Grandma.

Grandma Swasey wore an apron every day. She only took it off to go to church or to town. She would wear it as she worked in the garden, when she would sit in her chair and crochet, as she was sewing or quilting, as she would prepare meals, and as she played checkers or chinese checkers with her grandkids (I think this was her favorite past time). Grandma Swasey's aprons always had pockets that she would use to carry various things. As she got older and her mind was going...she would "SNEAK" raisin's or chocolate chips in her apron pocket and eat them when she thought you weren't looking. She was an AMAZING woman, a TRUE lady, and a wonderful caring Grandma. All of my memories of her include an apron, it isn't the first thing that comes to mind, but it is always there. I can't picture her without one.

Jill, two thumbs up for your apron obsession, you are a DG!! I have chatted with Ardell about making an apron using the same pattern as my Grandma...now I just need to find some cute fabric!

Searching For A Deeper Meaning...

It Feels Good To Be Done!

Yay! My table is finally done. I learned a lot while refinishing the table, the most important thing I learned is to do a project like this at your own house. My mom's house hosted this project and it took forever for me to complete. The table has some imperfections, it is my first job of this kind, but I love it!

Too Much Spare Time

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Okay, okay, so we have some spare time on our hands at work occasionally AND I just purchased a new camera (love CANNON!). Combine those two and we have the above videos. Disclaimer...I have a slight lisp...I didn't think it was so bad. Yes, I STILL have my invisalign in...and I am slightly annoyed. The price I pay for being VAIN.

The top video is of CHAY.

*** Happy Fireworks Day ***

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Delia HEARTS fireworks.
If you didn't get the chance to see any fireworks this 4th of July, just watch this video. By the way...you hear a great truth at the end of the video! Enjoy!

Can You Believe It?

Dean gets a little CrAzEY after only 1 (one) Papst BLUE Ribbon. Let the good times roll.

(no animals were hurt in the making of this blog, and no actual alcohol was consumed.)