A Theme Found

I found a theme, but not a 2009 theme, a life theme...well really more of a life question:

"As you go through these tough times, you each have a simple choice to make. You can either choose to be bitter, or you can choose to be better. Which do you choose?"

I was thinking how I could introduce or explain why I chose this theme, and then when I was responding to an email about the theme, I thought "Why not just post my response to their statement."

My friends statement about my theme: "I am surprised to see this as the theme you have chosen. I just expected something with a more poetic rhythm from you."

Without further ado, my response: (with just a few motifications)

I agree...I was expecting something with more sass, pizzaz, etc. But, this just struck a chord in my heart. Death always makes you reflect. Reflect on the person's life, and on your own life. I have been thinking a lot about what I can learn from how my father chose to live his life and what I can glean from him to make my life better.

For most of his life, he chose to be bitter about wrongs, hard times, really just a lot of things that were tough to deal with and experience. I will be the first to admit, he had a really really really hard life. Choices by his mother, grandmother, and others that didn't give him the best start or help during some pretty important years in his life. I mean for goodness sakes his brother committed suicide. HOWEVER, he didn't let these experiences make him better...he kept some bitterness.

About a year or so ago I found a tape my dad talked on about his life, he was speaking of things from his childhood. 80% or more of the tape were bad things that happened to him. After the first time listening to it, I vowed I wouldn't listen to it again. I didn't need to be reminded of the bitterness. However, when my attitude towards helping take care of my dad changed...I found myself needing to listen to it again. Seeing him in the prime of his "BITTERNESS" on the tape contrasted with the "BETTERNESS" that I was seeing him display during the last year of my life affected me profoundly. Let me explain the "BETTERNESS" I am speaking of, experiences with my dad taught me that he could get grumpy or unpleasant in certain situations. My prediction was that his children taking care of his every need (and I mean even the most personal ones), would have made him even more unpleasant or grumpy. BUT during this time he was pleasant. He told us he loved us. My dad repeatedly told us he had beautiful daughters, that he didn't know how he got to be so lucky to have such great children. In, what I would have thought would be the hardest trial to endure, he let him make him BETTER. The bitterness that lingered from earlier years was almost non-existant.

The quote that I heard summed it up for me. I don't want to spend years or even seconds of my life carrying bitterness with me. I want to spend seconds and years carrying betterness with me. I choose to be happy. I choose to be optimistic. I choose to see the good in people. I choose to laugh. I choose to love, and to love with my whole heart. I choose to keep those I love (friends, family, etc) close to me. I choose to be better. That is my choice now and forever.

I don't think it will be easy, but I am going to try.

This is why it more of a life motto...so I need to still come up with a 2009 theme....any thoughts?

**final note, lest you get the wrong idea, my friend liked the theme."**