Trust: Learning How To

Two things in the last couple of days have reminded me of a a time in my life when I had to learn to be patient and put my trust in the Lord.

On Sunday in testimony meeting there were two testimonies that spoke of the Lord's plan versus our plan. They talked of how we need to sometimes "get out of the way" so the that we can move forward on the Lord's plan.

Then tonight (this is cheesy) I saw "Letter's To Juliet" and when Claire wrote the response for Juliet she talked of "What If's" as in "What if I had done this instead of that."

When ever I think of the Lord's plan for me and/or what if I had (insert statement here) I think of the last year of my time in Logan.

Let me just tell you that I was NOT happy to be there. I was excited to graduate college and get started on my life and in my mind that included leaving Logan. In my personal life (friends and such) there seemed to be lost of drama and I spent more than my share of time frustrated, irritated, and crying over the drama.

I graduated in April and during the summer anxiously looked for a job in SLC to no avail. I ended up taking a job in Logan which was NOT in my plan. I still continued to look for a job. Later that summer I got in a huge fight with one of my closest friends at the time.

Here I was in Logan not in SLC and had just had a huge falling out with the friend I did almost everything with. I was not happy. I just wanted to be somewhere else but nothing was working for me.

It felt like I was kicking against the pricks.

In November I had finally gotten a job offer from a company in SLC but for lower pay and responsibility than at my current job. I had a choice to make. Do I stay in Logan (where I thought I didn't belong and was determined to kind of loath) or do I take a pay cut and move to SLC (where at this point I thought I would be happy)? I just couldn't decide and didn't have a strong feeling either way.

I got a blessing and was given some great advice that "I make good choices and either decision would be a good one. That this was my decision to make."

I chose to stay in Logan but continue looking for a different job. I am so grateful that I made this decision.

Thinking back the Lord had a reason for me to spend an extra year in Logan after I graduated. There were specific lesson's I needed to learn and specific people that I needed to meet.

There were two big things that impacted my life:

1. That last year amongst all of the people that made an impact on my life I met two of the most amazing women. They have become great friends who have helped me stay close to my Father in Heaven. The other, and just as important, thing they have done is they have been honest and questioning. I love it and need it. Everyone should have at least one, preferably many, friends who aren't afraid to ask you hard questions and expect answers and then respond with care and love. I am so grateful I have this in my life.

2. I learned to trust the Lord. I learned that the Lord does have a path for my life and working together with Him will be rewarding and bring much joy to my life. What if I had left Logan a year earlier? Scary thought. There isn't a part of that time I would change. Not the heartache, tears, joy, or laughter. Not one moment.

My favorite scripture that not only defines this time of my life but reminds me to trust the Lord is: Doctrine and Covenants 101:16 "Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God."

"Be STILL and KNOW that I am God."

What comfort and peace these words give me.