COMMUNICATION!
Seriously people. Communication is wonderful. Communication is great. Unfortunately, communication is hard. I truly believe that everyone communicates differently and it is WORK to understand other people. I am not talking about "pass the salt" type of communication, but the bigger stuff, the "I need help" or "We need to work something out" type.
I found two quotes I really like:
"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said." (Peter Drucker 1909-2005). I believe this is true. I have a hard time saying the really important stuff. I skirt around the issue, whether good or bad. If I am nervous about how the other person will take it or if I have a lot invested in a relationship (friendship, family, romantic, work, etc) it is hard to just come out and say what I feel or am thinking. I am sure I am not the only one. I try really hard to get over this, but with every new person and situation, I seem to find myself back at square one. Those who communicate with me, sometimes/maybe most of the time, have to listen to what I don't say. Which seems lame...which is why I am working on being better.
"Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after. "
Seriously people. Communication is wonderful. Communication is great. Unfortunately, communication is hard. I truly believe that everyone communicates differently and it is WORK to understand other people. I am not talking about "pass the salt" type of communication, but the bigger stuff, the "I need help" or "We need to work something out" type.
I found two quotes I really like:
"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said." (Peter Drucker 1909-2005). I believe this is true. I have a hard time saying the really important stuff. I skirt around the issue, whether good or bad. If I am nervous about how the other person will take it or if I have a lot invested in a relationship (friendship, family, romantic, work, etc) it is hard to just come out and say what I feel or am thinking. I am sure I am not the only one. I try really hard to get over this, but with every new person and situation, I seem to find myself back at square one. Those who communicate with me, sometimes/maybe most of the time, have to listen to what I don't say. Which seems lame...which is why I am working on being better.
"Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after. "
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, 'Gift From the Sea'. I LOVE THIS! Some of my best and most cherished memories are conversations I had with people. Conversations that went beyond the surface and gave me a glimpse into another persons reality and gave them a glimpse into mine (which I am sure was quite scary for the other person). I don't know about you, but I sometimes CRAVE a good talk. It isn't just good conversations...but REAL communication. Knowing that when you are talking with someone, whether it is making a decision, chatting about something that happened, politics, whatever, but that you understand them and they understand you...just makes me want to jump for joy and I feel so good...and free. I have several people in my life that I communicate with really well most of the time. The communication is one of the biggest reasons I keep them in my life and trust them. Lack of good communication...well...I don't really want to keep those people close...
Here is my take away...I need to constantly work at communicating effectively, especially when the issue is important...because I do care. On the flip side, I need to seek to understand those who are communicating with me.
5 comments:
I seem to have a lot of "pass the salt" conversations with people and it can be a real drag. I always think, "where are all the cool people?" I also crave good conversations...they are hard to come by- love the quotes D'Nell
I feel exactly the same way...which is why I'm up at 12:00 in the morning, ironically.
I agree with Peter Druker! Anyone can make noise or take in the sounds. But participating in good conversation is like listening to good music and following the notes in your mind as they are played. It takes energy, patience and time to understand what is being communicated.
A good conversation enriches and comforts the soul, like a warm cup of soup nurishes the body.
I also crave real coversation. Most of my conversations these days include phrases like, "Where's your bellybutton?", "No, no Ryan" and "Don't eat that, it's a rock."
Good adult conversations are priceless. Especially with your loved ones, unfortunately it's my loved ones that I have the most "pass the salt" conversations. Sometimes we forget to delve deeper. Good reminder Delia. :)
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